Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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