also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So. Much. Porn.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
