Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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