they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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