I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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