he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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