O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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