I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
