can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
