jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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