I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
