Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
