I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
