Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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