Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
