Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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