I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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