it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
