I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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