STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
