I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
