Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
