I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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