You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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