I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
