Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
