I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
