I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
