Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
