he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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