Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
