Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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