we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
