It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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