I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
