Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
