So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize