their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize