I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
