Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
