i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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