I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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