Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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