he puts the penis in happiness.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
