the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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