i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
we're so committed to being not committed
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
