I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
