She said her name was "party"
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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