I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
