if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
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