Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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