He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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